Why I Didn’t Have a Wedding.

In all honesty, I’ve never been the girl who had dreams of the perfect wedding. But it never crossed my mind that I wouldn’t have a wedding at all until this past year. Jason and I got engaged Christmas Day of 2011. Like any newly engaged fiancé, I started looking on Pinterest and The Knot to find ideas to get the planning going. Then it was Valentine’s Day, and then my birthday, and then Jay’s birthday…. and oooops! Now I’m pregnant. So obviously wedding planning went on the back burner, and I began planning for baby.

December 2012: Welcome to this crazy world, Miss Sophia Noelle.

newbornsophia

Fast forward to August 2013.

We bought a zoo! Just kidding, we bought a house.

newhouse

So there you have it. We were engaged, had a baby, and bought a house.

I’m sure “We got married!” should’ve been in there somewhere, but it wasn’t. Not yet. We settled into the house, got back into our routine, and then we thought about getting married. So for our own reasons, and our reasons alone, we decided to get married at the courthouse in our area on our five year anniversary date. Just the three of us, our little family. It wasn’t traditional, I didn’t wear a white dress, but it was our wedding.

married

Now we’re here, February 2014. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and the 3 year anniversary of us moving to this ‘wonderful’ state called Maryland. Planning a wedding is not on my mind, and never will be. Here’s why:

1) Our wedding (if it was planned) would be in New Jersey. After contacting 8 different venues last year, and them all telling me that they didn’t have October 2014 availability, I began to lose hope. No venue = no wedding. **And I know I could’ve called earlier and asked but as previously stated above, baby, house, other things are more important to me than finding a place to throw a party. Also, I wasn’t waiting another 2 years to get married.

2) Eloping to a beautiful island wasn’t an option. After talking it over, while some family would be able to come and friends would figure out a way, others couldn’t afford it, and we’d go back to the “let’s have a big wedding in NJ so everyone can come” discussion again. Ugh.

3) If I wouldn’t share my lunch with you on a regular day, why would I pay $100 for you to eat and drink your life away at my wedding? <—That. That is some serious crap. A handful of the venues I looked at wanted us to have a minimum of 100 guests. So, they’re pretty much telling me to go through my Facebook friends list and start picking random people to invite. No thank you. That right there is a party foul, and I will not be part of it.

4) Flowers, linens, centerpieces. Blah. I suppose it’s just not my thing. I love decorating, painting, organizing, and planning. But not for a wedding I suppose.

5) Getting married is about absolutely no one, but you and your fiancé. A wedding is a time to celebrate with everyone, but in all reality, are they going to be there when you’re fighting? When things are tough? No one that comes to your wedding is going to have to put in the work, time and effort that a true marriage deserves. It’s not about anyone else, but yourselves. In that case, I’d rather put all of my effort into making this marriage the best it can be, instead of worrying about flower arrangements and bridesmaid dresses.  

That’s just a few reasons, but the other reasons shall remain my own. Maybe one day we’ll have a big party and who knows? Maybe you’ll be invited. But I can guarantee you this – you won’t be invited to my wedding. No hurt feelings, okay?

8 thoughts on “Why I Didn’t Have a Wedding.

  1. Melissa says:

    There’s not many people I’ve heard say “if I had to go back and do it again, I’d definitely still spend the thirty grand”. The ones who say they have no regrets either (a) eloped in Vegas or (b) got married on the beach in the Caribbean with a handful of friends and family. AND … what if the marriage doesn’t work out? Then you’re thousands of dollars in the hole and have no relationship to show for it. Pretty huge gamble, in my opinion.

    Glad you finally came to a decision that makes the both of you happy, which is most important. Also, glad you came to a decision in general so I can finally plan out the rest of my fall schedule 😉 Maybe I’ll see you at Christmas?

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  2. stacey says:

    We had so many problems with who was invited, who would go….blah blah. We really considered Vegas or courthouse. In the end it worked out and we got our big wedding. But honestly, when facing all those problems and CRAP….the courthouse or Vegas seemed perfect because it put everything in perspective. Its just us, and no one else.

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    • Kylie says:

      I’m glad it ended up working out for you guys! I hear that from so many people – they wish they would’ve saved the money and eloped. It makes me feel better inside 🙂 Vegas sounds pretty awesome though!

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  3. lisa says:

    I am making matt read this tonight…but im pretty sure hes convinced on vows at the courthouse and heading to disney for vaca and dinner at the castle (his idea lol). Which I am obviously perfectly okay with

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  4. Paula @ Eat: Watch: Run says:

    I was never the girl that dreamed about getting married, so when I got engaged, I didn’t even know where to start. I planned a whole wedding in Orlando that my husband and I were going to pay for ourselves. Once he heard that he owed 5k for his half and that was not the whole total for the wedding, we ended up cancelling everything, going to Vegas and getting an all-inclusive wedding package (no work!), and saving 6k. We thought it would just be us 20 friends ended up flying out so it was a lot of fun and everyone paid their own way.
    So I say, save that money and take a nice vacation later on.

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    • Kylie says:

      That’s an amazing idea! I’m all for all-inclusive Vegas trips 🙂 That’s really awesome, I kinda wish I thought of that. I’m hoping for a nice vacation, or maybe even a deck for our new house! The little things that excite me nowadays.

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