In all honesty, I’ve never been the girl who had dreams of the perfect wedding. But it never crossed my mind that I wouldn’t have a wedding at all until this past year. Jason and I got engaged Christmas Day of 2011. Like any newly engaged fiancé, I started looking on Pinterest and The Knot to find ideas to get the planning going. Then it was Valentine’s Day, and then my birthday, and then Jay’s birthday…. and oooops! Now I’m pregnant. So obviously wedding planning went on the back burner, and I began planning for baby.
December 2012: Welcome to this crazy world, Miss Sophia Noelle.
Fast forward to August 2013.
We bought a zoo! Just kidding, we bought a house.
So there you have it. We were engaged, had a baby, and bought a house.
I’m sure “We got married!” should’ve been in there somewhere, but it wasn’t. Not yet. We settled into the house, got back into our routine, and then we thought about getting married. So for our own reasons, and our reasons alone, we decided to get married at the courthouse in our area on our five year anniversary date. Just the three of us, our little family. It wasn’t traditional, I didn’t wear a white dress, but it was our wedding.
Now we’re here, February 2014. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and the 3 year anniversary of us moving to this ‘wonderful’ state called Maryland. Planning a wedding is not on my mind, and never will be. Here’s why:
1) Our wedding (if it was planned) would be in New Jersey. After contacting 8 different venues last year, and them all telling me that they didn’t have October 2014 availability, I began to lose hope. No venue = no wedding. **And I know I could’ve called earlier and asked but as previously stated above, baby, house, other things are more important to me than finding a place to throw a party. Also, I wasn’t waiting another 2 years to get married.
2) Eloping to a beautiful island wasn’t an option. After talking it over, while some family would be able to come and friends would figure out a way, others couldn’t afford it, and we’d go back to the “let’s have a big wedding in NJ so everyone can come” discussion again. Ugh.
3) If I wouldn’t share my lunch with you on a regular day, why would I pay $100 for you to eat and drink your life away at my wedding? <—That. That is some serious crap. A handful of the venues I looked at wanted us to have a minimum of 100 guests. So, they’re pretty much telling me to go through my Facebook friends list and start picking random people to invite. No thank you. That right there is a party foul, and I will not be part of it.
4) Flowers, linens, centerpieces. Blah. I suppose it’s just not my thing. I love decorating, painting, organizing, and planning. But not for a wedding I suppose.
5) Getting married is about absolutely no one, but you and your fiancé. A wedding is a time to celebrate with everyone, but in all reality, are they going to be there when you’re fighting? When things are tough? No one that comes to your wedding is going to have to put in the work, time and effort that a true marriage deserves. It’s not about anyone else, but yourselves. In that case, I’d rather put all of my effort into making this marriage the best it can be, instead of worrying about flower arrangements and bridesmaid dresses.
That’s just a few reasons, but the other reasons shall remain my own. Maybe one day we’ll have a big party and who knows? Maybe you’ll be invited. But I can guarantee you this – you won’t be invited to my wedding. No hurt feelings, okay?