Motherhood is Hard

Actually, it’s way harder than I thought it would be. Who knew?

Sophia has probably been the easiest baby and toddler on the planet. She’s pretty adaptable, and almost always well behaved. She’s pretty shy in certain situations, and is very clingy when she’s around strangers. I will never be mad at my daughter for not wanting to say hi to someone she doesn’t know. Isn’t that how kids get abducted nowadays?

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We attempted a one-day trip to Brooklyn over the weekend, and slightly failed. Usually our trips up north are an overnight-stay type of trip. We’ve never subjected her to more than 2 1/2 hours in the car at a time, except that one time it took us 4+ hours to get home from NJ and she was nursing newborn and slightly starving. For this trip, we were in the car at 10am and didn’t get to our destination until almost 2pm.

Needless to say, Sophia was not a fan.

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Screaming, kicking, dirty looks, and throwing of toys, food and drinks occurred. I wanted to turn around and go home. I feel like no trip is worth her unhappiness. (Also, I’m against drugging her with Benadryl, like many other moms recommended to me. It just doesn’t sit right with me.) Regardless, she was better once we got there, and even better once she had an entire plate of eggplant parmesan, ziti, penne vodka, lemon chicken, and salad in her belly. But now, it was 4pm. This little girl didn’t have a nap at all, besides a cat nap from screaming herself to sleep in the car.

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Sophia and I are the exact same person when it comes to tiredness and hunger. We get extremely angry, bratty, and unreasonable. Ask my husband, we are not fun to deal with. So that is totally me I see in her when she hits that brick wall of tiredness. In all of her almost year and a half in this world, I’ve never seen this girl throw a tantrum of this magnitude, in public no less. Let’s just say she’s got this whole toddler thing backwards. She’ll throw a tantrum at home, but in public? She’s an angel. It’s the weirdest thing ever, and I’m not sure how to deal with it sometimes.

That one day, that single day-trip, made me absolutely think twice about having another baby.

Over three hours later, we arrived home. [Insert completely happy child here]. Nothing but smiles and giggles on her end, and nothing but Tylenol PM and a bed on our end. It’s Monday and I’m still exhausted trying to remember the details from the day. Not to mention, Jason didn’t get home until 11:30pm Friday night, so we didn’t get off on the right foot to begin with.

That was a tough day. I’ll admit that. Sophia has been extremely tough to deal with these past few days, and I’m finding myself not being the calm, collected person that I usually am with her. I’m getting angry, shouting at her, and then I realize she doesn’t understand. I realize that her being upset is the only way to tell me what’s wrong. Me yelling at her doesn’t make anything better, and it makes me feel like a horrible mom. But this right here? This made me feel like I’m doing something right.

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One thought on “Motherhood is Hard

  1. Stephanie says:

    This is so very true! I have found myself yelling at Nyah lately out of frustation ( on both our ends ) and the end of pregnancy anger that comes with the third trimester for whatever reason why. Motherhood is one the hardest things that I have done in my short life and when this other little guy comes along, I’m postive it won’t get any easier. Amazingly after all the sleepless nights and horrible blowouts, I wouldn’t trade for it the world ! I know I’m crazy lol . .I will be sure to remind myself that it’s ok to make mistakes as long as I forgive myself and move on ! 😀

    Like

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