Causes of my Depression 

1) Winter

2) Pregnancy/Breastfeeding 

3) Sickness

4) Running out of Coffeemate 

5) Not finishing any tasks I begin, ever

You guys. It’s driving me insane. I’d say the winter and sickness part goes hand in hand and it plays a huge part in my depression. What fun is snowy winters with kids if they’re sick all the time? Zero. Absolutely no fun. Since January, we’ve battled bronchitis, RSV, ear infections and strep throat with the lovely accompaniment of Scarlet Fever rash. It’s one of those, youhavegottobefuckingkiddingme moments as a parent. Excuse my french. But seriously, it’s killing me. 

Not only are the kids getting sick, but I’m catching every single thing they get. I’ve never been this consistently sick since I threw up my entire pregnancy last year. Preschool is a big factor this year, but this weather. Oh this weather. It has no idea what it wants to do, so when it’s warm in December and kids play outside and alllll of the germs come back with them, it’s rough. In the last seven weeks, we’ve all been sick three separate times, besides my husband. Somehow, some way, he’s been spared. For that? I’m so thankful. I don’t know what I’d do if all four of us were down for the count. 

The sickness played a huge factor in my demise of breastfeeding exclusively. You have no idea how much I had my heart set on this. It got to the point of me drinking 70+ ounces of water per day, pumping after every feeding, taking 21 pills worth of herbal supplements and making batches and batches of lactation cookies to try and boost my supply. Nothing worked. So now we’re supplementing and I’m sure we’ll wean completely soon too. So much sadness in those words. It definitely stings to not be able to provide enough for your baby. 

On top of that, being sick means accomplishing nothing. I’ve been trying to clean our house for weeks. The floors taunt me. It’s awful, but it is what it is. Anyone want to buy me a cleaning lady? 

Last but not least, if I run out of Coffeemate one more time, I might buy three every time we go grocery shopping. 

Now I must go tend to the sick baby who can’t sleep because he’s incredibly congested 😕 I’ve been in his room seven times in two hours. But really, who’s counting? #endrant 

twohearts

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